And the Stars up Above - Chapter 20

March 22nd, 1987
Mike

Mike and Jason were lying on their backs on the grass in Jason’s backyard. They were watching the stars, talking. Jason still hadn’t told Mike what it was that he wanted to show him. Mike didn’t mind though, he was sure that Jason would show him eventually. He wasn’t cold anymore, Jason’s jacket was warm, and it smelt nice. It smelt like Jason.
“What are you thinking of?” Mike asked Jason; he had been staring out in space for a while now. Mike didn’t expect him to answer, he knew that it was pretty much impossible to get in contact with Jason when he was thinking; therefore Mike was very surprised when Jason did answer.
“The stars.” Jason said quietly, Mike nodded.
“Yeah, they’re beautiful.” he said softly.
“You know something?” Jason said without taking his eyes of the sky. “Everybody has got a star. Your very own star, which represents you. And when we die, we become a part of that star and we watch over those who are still on earth.” Jason fell silent for a couple of seconds; Mike looked up at the sky wondering which star was his. “My mum is up there.” Jason said quietly. Mike turned his head to Jason, trying to make out what he was feeling. Jason had often talked about his mother and Mike had known that she wasn’t around anymore but he hadn’t known why she wasn’t. Mike had always assumed that she had left to live somewhere else, just like his mum had. It had never occurred to him that she might be dead.
“I’m sorry.” Mike said, not really knowing what to say.
“That’s her star, right over there.” Jason said and pointed, not answering Mike. “She’s watching over us from there.” Mike crawled closer to Jason and put his head next to his so he could see which star Jason was pointing at. It was a small but bright star to the left which seemed like it was glittering towards them. He blinked rapidly three times and when he looked again, the glittering was gone. The star shone just like stars usually do.
“How do you know which star is your own?” Mike asked, his eyes sweeping across the sky trying to find his. Jason shrugged, as if to say that it’s obvious.
“It’s just a star that you feel connected to. It doesn’t have to be the biggest, strongest or most beautiful star, just a star that you feel connected to.” he said. Mike nodded to say that he understood.
“Which one’s yours?” Mike asked. Jason’s eyes darted from his mothers star to the opposite side of the sky and yet again he put his arm out to point.
“That one.” He said, this time Mike didn’t have to move his head closer, it was right beside Jason’s already. At first Mike had problems to see which star Jason was pointing at; Mike couldn’t see anything there but darkness. But then he saw a very small and weak star that barely shone, not easy to catch sight of, but Mike thought that it was a star that you would never forget when you finally had found it.
“Wow.” he whispered. “It’s beautiful.” Jason nodded.
“Yeah, I know. “ Jason was whispering as well. “So, which one’s yours then?” Mike let his eyes wander across the sky until they stopped at a small, but very bright star right next to a big and strong star that probably would steal anybody’s gaze from the smaller star. Anybody’s gaze but Mike’s.
“That’s the one.” He whispered and pointed towards the small, bright star. Jason nodded.
“Of course…” he whispered, but it did not seem as if he was talking to Mike.
“’Of course’, what?” Mike whispered back. Suddenly he wondered why they were whispering, but he didn’t want to break the magic.
“Oh nothing…” Jason whispered and made a small shrug. “It’s just that I think I know who the big star is.” Mike stared at him and then at the star.
“You do?” he whispered, sounding very impressed. “Who is it?” Jason frowned.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he said. Mike frowned as well and stared at Jason, trying to find the answer in Jason’s eyes.
“No.” he finally breathed out.
“Well then, I’m sorry but I can’t tell you.” Mike nodded. Usually he would have been annoyed and tried to get it out of Jason, but tonight was different. He didn’t know why, but he thought that this night was special. Mike turned his gaze towards the sky again. Mike studied his very own star, watched it shine towards him and he felt that he had found a piece of himself that had been gone for a very long time.